Keep in mind. (For the family of Lisa Adams)


Lisa Bonchek Adams lived her experience of illness

On the web and in the blogosphere

On Twitter

In essays

In poems

Out loud

On her own terms.

Memorial Sloan Kettering has a fund in her name that will go toward solutions to metastatic breast cancer.

The New York Times published her obituary.

Forbes found her, and her words, beautiful.

Her Twitter account has over 15,000 followers.

But keep in mind: Her husband lost his wife, her children lost their mother, her brother lost his sister, her parents lost their daughter.

Lisa set an example of being true to one’s self.

She touched and inspired us with wit and poignancy, authenticity and reality.

She created under-140-character gifts of wisdom that we retweet, Instagram, pin up on our walls, think about, maybe even every day, some of us.

But keep in mind: This may not provide enough comfort to her children, her brother, her parents, her husband.

Writers have written touching pieces about how Lisa changed their lives.

The online, written, and spoken eulogies are likely to continue for a while.

There may be one or more books full of her essays, comments, and tweets, chronicling her experience of illness and grief.

There may be places and events dedicated to her.

Her husband, brother, parents, and children may eventually speak, write, and inspire people as well.

Her words and ideas will live on and make a difference for so many people.

But keep in mind: No amount of notoriety or success can bring back this daughter, this wife, this mother, this sister.

Life is forever changed for those that Lisa has most reluctantly left behind.

Life is forever changed for anyone reluctantly, or unexpectedly, or expectedly, or even intentionally, left behind.

Keep Lisa’s family in mind.

Keep all those you know who have suffered loss in mind.

As days and months and years go by, assume nothing about how they are doing. Ask them.

Return to them over and over with your love, attention, friendship, and support.

They will need it.

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