It’s amazing to me how hard it is to predict how I will react in a given situation, or how I will be coping on a particular day or at a certain moment. I thought it would get more predictable and manageable over time. Maybe enough time hasn’t passed to qualify as the “over time” amount, because I’m caught off guard more often than not. Or, maybe it will never follow a pattern I can anticipate. Maybe how it works will never be consistent enough to allow any comforting level of