In my own journey through grief, and in observing the grieving of others, I’ve noticed a desire for matching. People often want things to match up in some way that helps us make sense of grief, or predict how it will behave, or feel less alone in it. For example, if a person’s grief reaction looks like someone else’s (or if they imply that someone else’s grief should look like theirs), that might help them feel that they are normal. If a person believes their grief will alway

As the twelfth holiday season after my brother Frank's death approaches, I have been reminiscing about the many Thanksgiving celebrations we shared during his life, pulling up my now-solo, and less complete, versions of the memories that we constructed together. When celebrating with my North Carolina-born grandmother, we enjoyed classic cornbread stuffing, and when up north with my Italian-American grandmother, she made delicious sausage stuffing. I had a great uncle who fan

Today, June 21, is ten years since the day my brother died. This makes no sense to me. But neither does his death make sense at all. I...

Most actors know of an improvisation game called "Yes/And." Here's the basic idea: When someone starts an improv scene with a statement,...

Early this morning, I woke up at precisely the moment that marks six years since my brother was killed by a drunk driver. And I do mean...

When I’m in an unfamiliar place, I like to explore on foot. A couple of months ago, while out of town with my son for a band event, I...