Life Without Judgment

June 21, 2020

Early this morning, I woke up at precisely the moment that marks six years since my brother was killed by a drunk driver. And I do mean precisely – even adjusting for the time zone difference between where I live and where he used to live. What it means, I don’t know....

July 27, 2019

When I’m in an unfamiliar place, I like to explore on foot. A couple of months ago, while out of town with my son for a band event, I stayed at the home of a friend. The house is situated high up among rolling hills, and because I generally welcome the challenge of a f...

May 16, 2019

My right shoulder hurts. It has been hurting for a while, like a few months, or maybe a couple of years, or – now that I think about it – perhaps a decade, on and off. I don’t recall injuring it, so I am not exactly sure what is causing the pain, although it’s quite po...

January 14, 2019

A couple of mornings ago, I opened the front door to send my youngest child off to school and saw a line of cars backed up on my street, not moving. Looking to my left I noticed that they were behind the trash truck, and remembered that it was a regular trash pickup mo...

August 17, 2018

Hello.

This letter is to you, and just you. You are grieving as part of a family group, yes – but you have your own unique grief as a sibling, and you need your own letter.

I cannot say that I “welcome” you into this club that no one wants to join. But I want you to know...

December 25, 2017

I've missed you all. I have not been able to post in quite some time. As some of you know, I have begun work on a masters degree in education through the Rutgers Graduate School of Education, and the time I've had to put into my two courses this fall, along with everyt...

August 28, 2017

I love having a yard but don’t have much time to do anything about how it looks. Frequently the weeds rival the flowers in height, and I wonder whether we might receive a summons from the town public works department. Often the newspapers pile up on the grass to the po...

June 21, 2017

On this day in 2014, three years ago, my brother died. He was killed by a drunk driver who also died in the crash.

On this day, here in the northern hemisphere, summer begins. And this particular year, today, my sixth grader is enjoying her last day of school before vac...

April 25, 2017

I know people whose emotions fluctuate in response to the weather, but I never used to be one of them. Similar to what my father calls a “teacher-proof” student (one motivated to learn no matter the strength of the student-teacher bond or quality of the instruction), I...

March 22, 2017

Not long ago, I had one of those days. They come along periodically, and randomly, it seems. I wake up with a nagging sensation of trouble. Initially I wonder if I’ve neglected to take care of something important for work, or if I have to pay a bill, or sign a child up...

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