The shadow side of survivorship
You may have heard of the phenomenon known as “survivor guilt" (described at this link by What's Your Grief). It’s fairly well documented that many survivors of traumatic events – wartime violence, natural disasters, mass shootings – feel guilty that others died when they did not. The guilt can be especially crippling when something a survivor chose to do, or not do, somehow contributed to the death of one or more people in the situation. Survivor guilt also occurs in people
The ongoing work of coping with loss
Would that the work of grieving were more like shoveling snow... This past weekend brought the biggest snowfall of the winter so far, about 4-5 inches, for the area where I live. On Saturday afternoon I spent an hour shoveling show off our large driveway (large because it used to serve as a parking lot, put in for the medical office of a podiatrist who lived and worked in the house years ago). Yes, it was exhausting, and snow continued to fall while I shoveled, and I came int
It's New Year's Day. Grief doesn't know, or care.
Grief follows no timeline. Grief follows nothing. Grief forges its own path. Once again it’s January 1 — traditionally, a day people use to get a fresh start. We make resolutions to improve our health, our habits, our financial situations, our work status, our relationships. We see New Year’s Day as the beginning of things, a clean slate to write new stories on, an opportunity to take the messy old slates with the messy old stories and toss them in the trash. What’s on the me