In my own journey through grief, and in observing the grieving of others, I’ve noticed a desire for matching. People often want things to match up in some way that helps us make sense of grief, or predict how it will behave, or feel less alone in it. For example, if a person’s grief reaction looks like someone else’s (or if they imply that someone else’s grief should look like theirs), that might help them feel that they are normal. If a person believes their grief will alway